the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
