Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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