so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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