He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
