So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
