we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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