dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
