i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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