My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
