talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
