I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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