nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
