Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
