Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
