yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
