3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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