And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
