Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize