end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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