all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon