so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”