His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
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