Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
