Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.

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  (724): I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state. http://tfl.nu/piph
  Replies (17) Good night (430) Bad night (3058) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

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  (630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning.. http://tfl.nu/4rfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4655) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'

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  (778): No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain' http://tfl.nu/2rma
  Replies (28) Good night (1567) Bad night (7559) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools

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  (757): i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools http://tfl.nu/dqol
  Replies (10) Good night (3933) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10

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  (559): Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10 http://tfl.nu/1xln
  Replies (13) Good night (6840) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.

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  (603): i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes. http://tfl.nu/r21u
  Replies (2) Good night (1612) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?

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  (301): Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick? http://tfl.nu/d7bm
  Replies (6) Good night (2589) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.

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  (410): you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship. http://tfl.nu/fcev
  Replies (5) Good night (2218) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.

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  (806): Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this. http://tfl.nu/yv7f
  Replies (3) Good night (569) Bad night (1721) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession

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  (501): All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession http://tfl.nu/yu57
  Replies (5) Good night (2253) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

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  (414): No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student. http://tfl.nu/q9kq
  Replies (9) Good night (2152) Bad night (678) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You are my mentor.

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.

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  (865): You are my mentor. (276): I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement. http://tfl.nu/qxu9
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (217)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.

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  (717): I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country. http://tfl.nu/ua5o
  Replies (3) Good night (1289) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?

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  (913): Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk? http://tfl.nu/ufjz
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.

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  (928): You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions (1-928): Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit. http://tfl.nu/mpos
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt

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