sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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