In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
