after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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