youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
