O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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