I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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