My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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