sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
