we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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