The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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