and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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