i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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