i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
