Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
