Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
