is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
