you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize