Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize