we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
