How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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