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I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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