On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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