so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
