I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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