You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
