Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
