How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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