He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
