I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
