hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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