it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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