I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
