i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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