please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
