If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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