I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
not ubering you a puppy
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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