dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
