Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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