Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
