I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
