oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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