Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Boobs are out for the taking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
