I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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